Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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