One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize