i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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