if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
