Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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