I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize