i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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