Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
