Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
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I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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