P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
