I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
