rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize