If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
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I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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