This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
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Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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