I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize