Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
