he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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