I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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