the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
