he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
