My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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