I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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