I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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