did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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