sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
