As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
