I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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