I want you more than these girls want KFC
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize