i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
