girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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