We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize