i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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