Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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