i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
