no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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