ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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