I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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