I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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