How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
