Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
