Everything about him screamed your future.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
