I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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