I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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