So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.