I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".