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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im so hungover

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Come over i have rolls

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?

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• (916): View more from California

  I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...

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• (858): View more from California

  ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.

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• 

  The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...

  (719): View more from Colorado

  LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  In some strange universe, yes

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start

  (+61): View more from Australia

  asking for a friend

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