I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
