one might say we're banned from that church
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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