I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
