Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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