Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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