I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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