1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
