After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
