gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
