Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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