Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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