is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize