saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
