Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
