I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
